By Geoffrey James
It's not difficult to experience more joy at
work. You just need to know the rules.
A reader recently pointed me to some "rules
for a happier life" that various folks have posted in various forms.
Here's my take on those rules as they apply to the workplace:
1. Don't
compare yourself to others.
Everybody, and I mean everybody, starts out in a
different place and is headed on their own journey. You have NO idea where
someone else's journey might lead them, so drawing comparisons is a complete
waste of time.
2. Never
obsess over things you cannot control.
While it's often important to know about other
things--like the economy, the markets that you sell to, the actions that others
might take, your focus should remain on what you actually control, which is 1)
your own thoughts and 2) your own actions.
3. Know
and keep your personal limits and boundaries.
While your job might sometimes seem like the
most important thing in your world, you're killing a part of yourself if you
let work situations push you into places that violate your privacy and your
integrity.
4. Don't
over commit yourself or your team.
It's great to be enthusiastic and willing to go
the "extra mile," but making promises that you (or your team) can't
reasonably keep is simply a way to create failure and disappointment.
5.
Remember you get the same amount of time every day as everyone else.
You may feel you're short on time and that you
need more of it, but the simple truth is that when the day started, you got
your fair share: 24 hours. Nobody got any more than you did, so stop
complaining.
6. Don't
take yourself so seriously; nobody else does.
The ability to laugh at your foibles not only
makes you happier as a person, it makes you more powerful, more influential and
more attractive to others. If you can't laugh at yourself, everyone else will
be laughing behind your back.
7. Daydream
more rather than less.
The idea that daydreaming and working are
mutually exclusive belongs back in the 20th century. It's when you let your
thoughts wander that you're more likely to have the insights that will make you
both unique and more competitive.
8. Don't
bother with hate; it's not worth the effort.
Hate is an emotional parasite that eats away at
your energy and health. If something is wrong with the world and you can change
it, take action. If you can't take action, you're better off to forgive and
forget.
9. Make
peace with your past lest it create your future.
Focusing on past mistakes or wrongs inflicted on
you is exactly like driving a car while looking in the rear view mirror. You'll
keep heading in the same direction until you collide with something solid.
10. Don't
try to "win" every argument.
Some battles aren't worth fighting, and many
people are easier to handle when they think they've won the argument. What's
important isn't "winning," but what you, and the other people
involved, plan to do next.
11.
Remember that nobody is in charge of your happiness except you.
While some work environments are inherently
difficult, if you're consistentlymiserable it's your fault. You owe
it to yourself and your coworkers to either find a job that makes you happy or
make the best of the job you've got.
12. Smile
and laugh more frequently.
Contrary to popular belief, smiling and laughter
are not the RESULT of being happy; they're part of a cycle that both creates
and reinforces happiness. Find reasons to smile. Never, ever suppress a
laugh.
13. Don't
waste precious energy on malice and gossip.
Before you tell a story about anybody else, or
listen to such a story, ask yourself four questions: 1) Is it true? 2) Is it
kind? 3) Is it necessary? and 4) Would I want somebody telling a similar story
about me?
14. Don't
worry what others think about you; it's none of your business.
You can't mind read and you don't have everyone
else wired into a lie detector. Truly, you really have NO IDEA what anyone is
REALLY thinking about you. It's a total waste of time and energy to try.
15.
Remember that however bad (or good) a situation is, it will inevitably change.
The nature of the physical universe is change.
Nothing remains the same; everything is, as the gurus say, transitory. Whether
you're celebrating or mourning or something in between, this, too, will pass.
16. Trash
everything in your work area that isn't useful or beautiful.
Think about it: you're going to spend about a
third of your waking adult life at work. Why would you want to fill your work
environment--and that part of your life--with objects that are useless and
ugly?
17.
Believe that the best is yet to come, no matter what.
When my grandmother was widowed in her 70s, she
went back to college, traveled across Europe in youth hostels, and learned
Japanese painting, among many other activities. The last thing she told me was:
"You know, Geoffers, life begins at 90."
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